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Sunday, September 23, 2007
I think the fact that I have almost absolutely no tags on by tagboard is testament to that no one reads my blog.
:D
I find that quite amusing.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 7:39 AM
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wow.
It's september and the last time I posted was... like January? I've forgotten what my blog skin looks like.
BUt it's amazing how time flies... seriously.
And now the exam stress has seem to caught up with us. Somehow when people get concerned with marks, they get self-centred and they start to act... how should I put this? Out of character? I don't know. I'm not judging anyone. But I just, yes alright I am rambling.
So I shall start. This is in reaction to Adele's blog post. Not sure if anyone checks my blog anymore... I sure don't! But anyway, read hers and then you'll understand. In a nutshell, it's about the LA marks and how people think that Paul Tan has been bias to give us 14/15 when we didn't even do anything.
Of course, I'm sorry 407, that you were cheated out of your marks. I think it really was unfair that we got high marks for doing nothing and I really am sorry.
Honestly, I really agree that it was unfair. Really. I mean if I was in anyone else's position, I would be fuming too. But I mean... I don't really want to comment on that. And of course there's that whole thing about Adele's marks and how people think that Paul Tan raised her marks. In other words, it's sort of like doubting our ability/her ability. Maybe subconciously, or maybe that's not the wayyou mean it.
That's not really what I'm concerned with though. Honestly, I couldn't much be bothered about my marks. Ok that's a lie. What I mean is I don't really care whether I get really high and Adele gets really high or I should have gotten lower or higher... I don't know to how explain this. I care about my marks, I do. Who doesn't? But I don't care about them sooo much that... I'm not getting through here.
Point is, I'm just kinda sad about the way this whole thing has turned out. Now it's become this thing about whether Adele deserves the marks she gets.
Honestly? I think it can't be denied that Adele's english is good. Maybe sometimes because we think that a teacher is biased towards her, we tend to become biased against her. It's human nature. But that also doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve what she gets.
I'm not saying taht the teacher isn't bias. He is, and I think that is unfortunately quite obvious. But it doesn't mean that Adele doesn't deserve her marks; that they're not a fair representation of her english abilities.
So from both sides I can see where everyone is coming from, but I can also see that it really isn't very fair to take it out on Adele. There wasn't really anything we could do about it, or anything she could do about it.
It's usually the spreading of something, the fear of the fear, things like that, that makes things worse. It's like the spreading of these rumours, these words, these statements that you don't mean to make feel people bad, but sometimes it happens anyway. And I know that nobody in our class would ever purposely say something to make someone feel bad.
I also know that perhaps I'm not the right person to say this, because I sometimes say things unconciously that just come out wrong and hurt people. I think what I'm really saying is that... to all those who feel angered and cheated about their LA marks, or who feel that Adele's marks are pushed up by Paul Tan, I acknowledge and I understand what makes you feel that way, and I would feel that way too in that situation! But maybe, just try not to judge people so quickly, or make blatant assumptions. Don't attack the wrong people. ATTACK THE TEACHER!! haha ok just kidding.
Honestly, though? The way a bad feeling spreads is when people don't stop it, and we make it bigger ourselves. And it unravels and just gains speed, like a snowball rolling down a hill. It can be the size of a coin when it starts out, but the size of a car when it ends (though that would have to be a rather large hill). And most of the time, it spreads until it becomes an angry feeling based on nothing but anger and it's illogical! Maybe I'm writing out of poitnnow... but I just really hope that this ends here. All this doubt, this mistrust, this anger, this resentment, everything that could cause us to split apart.
--
Maybe I've never told anyone this, but for once in my life, when I came to this class I finally felt that I belonged. I love everyone of you out there, for turning me into a better person (so cliche, but honestly, there's a reason why they are cliche), but for making my life... something that I don't wanna run away from anymore.
I hate the way the exams have turned me into this selfish, self-absorbed person. I would hate it even more, if it turned any one of you into one of those people of which the world is already saturated with.
It's a mark. Seriously. It's one mark (ok I'll concede maybe more) but still. It's a number on the paper, a digit on the computer screen. Which I know is a lot today, in our lives, in our society, but who says we have to follow the way society thinks?
It's just not worth it.
Over a tiny, 1 mm tall, red line.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 9:41 AM
